By Catalyst Yogi
“There is no truth other than this: truth is when you confront the lie and you don’t become weak. You fight on. Give up nothing! Keep up! The difference between ‘keep up’ and ‘give up’ is very little. If you give up, you cannot keep up; if you keep up, you cannot give up.”
-Yogi Bhajan 7/21/87
If you are breathing you’ve probably faced a crisis or two in your life by now. What is a crisis? Spiritually, it’s an experience that shocks you into your awakening. A crisis is like a storm that comes to “shake the tree.” A powerful storm can destroy many trees but there are others that are left standing.
Why is this? A crisis is a storm that comes to test our strength, conviction and commitment. A crisis shakes us and removes all of our ego attachments which are the lies we tell ourselves.
I faced one of the greatest crises in my life in 2011. I met my wife in 2000 and our very first date was to go to a Kundalini Yoga and Meditation class. This was my very first class which of course, radically changed the trajectory of my life. A few years later she went to Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training and I read all of her course materials, practiced all the 40 day meditations with her, attended White Tantric Yoga® and was with her for all of her early morning group sadhanas.
We both became hooked on Kundalini Yoga and Meditation and of course, I eagerly took Teacher training the following year.
For eleven years, we were an awesome team, walking side by side, climbing the mountain, growing and evolving and committed to be the embodiment of the Aquarian Relationship. We were both teaching and spreading the technology of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation and supporting one another to evolve. I used to say to people, “As long as I have my wife by my side I feel that I can face any challenge that life throws at me.”
That all came to an abrupt end when in 2011, without warning, these words came out of her mouth, “I don’t want to be married to you anymore.” Not only did she not want to be married but she also dropped her 11 year spiritual practice and blamed me and Kundalini Yoga and Meditation for all of her problems. That day it was like her mask came off and what I thought was true was no longer true. As Yogi Bhajan said, I had to confront the lie and not give up. Thus began the Dark night of the Soul.
The storm had hit me hard and my only lifeline during that time was my daily sadhana practice. Each morning, feeling beaten and bruised with every excuse to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself, I chose instead to continue climbing up the mountain without her. I practiced the Magic Mantra Meditation for 90 days.
Each morning, I would cry uncontrollably, sometimes barely able to get the mantra out through my constricted throat and wounded heart. The magic mantra (Siri Mantra) is “Ek Ong Kar Sat Gur Prasad,” which means “there is one God and everything is a gift by the Guru’s grace.” Basically every experience that Life delivers to us is a gift. The unexpected bill and winning the lottery are the same.
To be honest, at that time I did not see the gift in my divorce. It felt more like God’s punishment. My mind couldn’t understand this pain, but each morning I placed my complete faith in the Divine and in the technology to deliver me through this terrible crisis. I showed up as myself each morning, sometimes angry or vulnerable, but most times in tremendous grief.
Now, 7 1/2 years later, I do see the gift. I needed that experience to shatter my heart open so that I could become a more compassionate, loving and forgiving human being. I needed to have a deep experience of my own inner strength that I can now draw upon without a shred of doubt. I needed to know that I can walk alone if need be and be led by my own inner light. I needed to have that experience in order to help others in crisis, to point them back to their inner light and to say, “You can get through this too, if you only put your faith in the Divine and in your daily Sadhana.”
The magic mantra helped to elevate me beyond the duality of good and bad and to see my life through GOD’s eyes. And to see that Life is perfect in leading us into our Authentic Self. For me, a crisis is an energetic portal that enables us to move from crisis to Christ Consciousness—to shatter our hearts open and be the living embodiment of compassion and forgiveness in order to truly serve our brothers and sisters here on planet Earth.
Catalyst Yogi (Haribhajan) helps you to find your higher purpose and heal your inner child through transformational online programs. These programs use the tools of Shadow Mining, Kundalini Yoga and Meditation and Spiritual Psychology. Participants also become members of a supportive global community with like-minded people that you can grow and change with on the healing journey. He also has many free resources available to help you transition into the Aquarian Age. Check the website for more details. https://shadowastrology.com